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Red Flags

Red Flags for an Abusive or Batterer Personality

These people work very hard to create the perfect persona. They tend to want everyone to see how perfect they are. They will do anything to protect this lie and most people believe it, commenting on how perfect they are. Many don’t find out until they are well into the relationship that the person they met is not real, and what is real is very scary. Here are some RED Flags to look for.

Quick Involvement: Wants to spend all their time with you. Says “I love you” way too soon. Pushes to move in together or get married right away.

Extreme Jealousy: This may appear cute at first, but it is not and will escalate over time.

Constant Criticism: This may start off with small comments and increase over time.

Controlling Behavior: Again, this may start in small ways and escalate over time.

Hypersensitive: The abusers feelings are always hurt. Pouts at first and then may turn angry.

Expects you to always be aware of their feelings and needs
Over values their place in the relationship, at work or at home
No matter what you do or how much, always feels that it is not good enough
Lack of accountability, blames others for all their faults

Narcissism- They are the center of the world

Manipulation: Can convince people that he/she is the victim.

Crazy Making (a.k.a. Gaslighting):

Telling you that all of the abuse was made up or not that bad
Holding you responsible for the abuse
Accusing you of saying things that you never said
Making you feel as if you are losing your mind
(See more under Gaslighting)

Intimidation: Use of threat or force to hurt people or animals that you love.

Isolation from friends and family.

Internet Safety Alert

Your abuser can monitor the use of your computer and the Internet. Learn how to protect yourself.

CALL 9-1-1 If you are in immediate danger